The threat of cooler weather... and sleeves.

OH CRAP.  I just bought this shirt last Spring!  I love this shirt!  Thank god its got a bit of cotton stretch to it, or this shirt would join the rest of my favorite shirts/pants that no longer fit me in that dark space in the back of my closet.

See, I have a reason to be extremely frustrated right now with the slow weight loss.  Tomorrow is official weigh in day, and I haven't lost a pound in 2 weeks.  :(

What makes this reality even worse, is that I put this extra 29 pounds on SO QUICKLY!!! Like, I bought this shirt in March I think.  By July 1, I gained 29 pounds, and as of September 7, the sleeves are so tight that I had to flex a few times this morning to make it fit.

You know what I mean by flex?  Like, when those jeans create just a bit of muffin top, so you do those little squat things quickly and kind of puff out the tummy to make those jeans stretch a bit?  Well, I did that with the sleeves of my cotton shirt.  I flexed those biceps like I was Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

Thanks biceps!  It worked.  Kind of.

I understand when all the other blogs and weight loss websites say, "remember how long it took you to put it on, it will take just as long to work it off."  Bullshit I say.  I put this on over 3 months... and 3 months later.. only down 8 pounds.  Lame.

On a good note, my friend Amanda made me buy an insane work out bra, so that I can do some more serious cardio.  My boobies will not be bouncing all over the place now, which up to now, has been my excuse to not .. run, jump rope, jumping jacks, yeah.  You get the point.  So, time to step it up boobies.  You are not my excuse anymore.

So, the point of this whole thing is, due to the sudden change of weather in early September, mother nature gave me a warning.  Cooler weather is coming, and soon.  These giganto arms and boobies have to fit under button down shirts and sweaters.  Fitted sleeves are a must.  One can not wear tank tops and loose cotton shirts in the winter in Kansas.  So, I have about 1 month, to at a minimum, get these arms about 1 inch smaller around.

It's a good goal, and I feel confident I can achieve it.  So, to keep me honest....

Current arm (at the bicep) measurement: 15.5 inches.  Ouch.

2012, Aliens, and my very 1/2 full version of the world

So, in case no one else noticed, SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN.

The US is in complete financial melt down, our dollar is on the verge of being completely devalued to the level of Greece and the USSR, and it seems like there is a major natural disaster if not every day, at least once a week.  Is anyone else concerned?

Well, according to the specialists on Ancient Aliens, this show on the History Channel that Joe and I are currently addicted to, no need to worry, its just the aliens.  Well, ok, maybe not. That is my optimistic view of how things seem to be falling.

Its hard these days to think of a solution to all the problems that are going on.  My mom called me the other day, in fact, to tell me to go dig out those silver pieces that the "tooth fairy" gave me when I was a kid.  Those are not US currency, but actual hard silver troy ounces that if the US Dollar fails, could save our lives.  Yeah.  Thats what my mom just told me.  SHEESH!

But seriously, I am an eternal optimist, and I am starting to get honestly terrified of the next year.  Call me a doomsday person, but I'm starting to think those ornery Mayans were on to something. The ancient aliens folks say, its cause the aliens said they would come back and restart the world as we know it in 2012.

Now, are the politicians all watching Ancient Aliens and saying.. "You know what?  We don't have to fix this debt problem, cause the world is gonna get messed up in less than a year anyway.  Who cares?"  Thats my doomsday idiocracy theory anyway.  That sure does explain why all normal reactions to the financial meltdown have gone out the window.  Its like one giant stall game.  If we can push this problem off long enough, it just won't matter anymore.

Well, you crazy politicians!  Quit watching the crazy haired man on TV!

Quit stalling.  Cause I learned Reiki Tumo, and when the aliens come down and change our world, I'm gonna be good, and I'm gonna want to be able to buy a house. If you guys mess up this place before they get here too bad, I won't be able to get my money to buy that house.  So, get with it! ;) hehehe!

Ok, but seriously, it might have been a bad time to start a blog about being optimistic.  Crap.

 

Kissing Rock Stars

So, my friend Emily states that this blog is long time over due and needs to be exceedingly long now, to fill the rest of her work day.  So, here goes...

I am on the same path that I always end up following when on a diet/exercise plan.  I get too darn excited about my progress, and feel comfortable in my own skin.  That sounds great right?  Well, for me, its a bad thing.

See, I know I am at an unhealthy weight, and when I see pictures of me, I get extremely grossed out and upset.  But, when I get all gussied up, and look in the mirror, I see a rather good looking lady! See my problem yet?  I suddenly see the mirror, see someone, who despite the weight still looks pretty darn good.  So why kill myself on that damn elliptical machine, or that insane biggest loser video...

And.... the next thing I know, I'm up 2 pounds.  DAMN IT!  Stupid self confidence, you are screwing this up for me!  GRRR!!!

So, want to know what put me on this pathway to self confidence this time?  I got kissed by a Rock Star.  Sorry Joe!

He is one of my favorite blues guitarists and Joe and I slightly stalk love him. :)  Well, as in my previous post, I went to Knuckleheads in Kansas City in the East Bottoms to see Eric Sardinas.  My very best friends came to enjoy this fun event with me, and I even got to dance like old times with my bestie Alyson!  :)  I don't think my other bestie Amanda loved it nearly as much as me, so she is probably not as pumped to hear about this whole kissing thing.. but too bad Amanda! ;)

So, this is how this chain of crazy events happened.

Adam, Joe's brother, had to go back to Knuckleheads after the show, as he managed to take his mother's car keys with him when he left, and left his mother stranded at a bar.  Trust me, she was fine, and very happy to just chill with the owner and Eric. So, Adam, like a good son, drove through a MONSOON incredibly strong thunderstorm to give his mom her keys back.  Well, low and behold, Eric Sardinas and his band were also stranded due to the storm, so Adam got to hang with the band till the storm passed over.

Adam cooly and calmly fell all over himself telling him casually mentioned that we were very blown away by the show and wanted to follow him to Des Moines, Iowa to see the next show the following Saturday.  Well, the generous person that Eric is, said that if we made it, we would be on his personal VIP list.  Let me tell you, it did not take much arm twisting to convince Joe and I that this was a good idea.

So, on Saturday afternoon, we made the journey to Des Moines Iowa, to a insanely weird venue, that looked more like a business park bar and grill than a Blues Club.  After arriving, we were, as Eric promised, on the VIP list.  Now, this sounds impressive, I know.  However, being a VIP at a club where out of the 3 pool tables, only one works, and you have to tilt it on its end every few games to make that one table work, and there is no food, even though they have it listed on the door and the website.... I could go on and on about how disappointing this venue was.  Anyway, being Eric's VIP basically meant we didn't pay for our tickets. Oh well.

Eric made up for this venue by seriously putting on the best show ever.  10 times better than in KC.  At set break, he came right up to me, gave me like 5 hugs, and asked me how his voiced sounded, since he was a bit scratchy.  OMG... I felt like such a cool person at this point, in telling him the scratchy voice was sexy.  Sheesh....

I'm such a dork.  Anyway, he played a second set.  We were again, blown away.  At the end of the show, I wave to Eric, who is packing up his guitars, and say goodbye. At this point, he strides over to me, gives me a big kiss square on the lips, and says, I'll miss you till we get back to KC.  Ok, swooning.  Yes, Amanda, I know you are not swooning for me... and are probably making Yacking noises right now.  Ha!

But yeah, I have to say, that is one hell of a boost of self confidence.  I felt like the sexiest girl alive at that moment, 242 lbs or not.  So, this week, its been HARD to jump back into the healthy eating pattern.  Its been impossible to go to the gym.  But, I got kissed by a rockstar.  Maybe I should set my goal to lose weight for the next time Eric comes to KC.  If I'm 50 lbs lighter, then sheesh, who knows!  haha!  Sorry again Joe! ;)

Some fun stuff

Have you ever had one of those days where it is absolutely impossible to focus?  That is me today.  Could be that I had a weight gain this week of 1.5 pounds, which just downright pissed me off frustrated me.  However, sometimes, I think you just need some entertainment.

My entertainment tonight will be dancing my booty off at Knuckleheads Saloon in the East Bottoms of Kansas City.  They will have one of the very best blues guitarists in the world performing tonight, Eric Sardinas. I plan on having a fantastic time.  So, that was a bit off track.

The reason I mention my plans for this evening, is because my super funny thing of the day happened with my boyfriend Joe decided to do a google maps walk-through/drive through of the route to Knuckleheads.  See, if you don't know KC, the East Bottoms is mostly industrial trainyards.  However, there is a tiny residential neighborhood in the middle of it, and then in the middle of nowhere is Knuckleheads.

Well, you can see for yourself, but this is the neighborhood you have to drive through to reach our favorite blues bar in KC.

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ll=39.120738%2C-94.551172&spn=0.005286%2C0.009001&client=firefox-a&t=h&z=17&vpsrc=6&layer=c&cbll=39.120732%2C-94.551048&panoid=Zkmk9frDQbz8yyJgj4QRBw&cbp=12%2C205.23%2C%2C0%2C25.85

Make sure you also look to the right of the group on that tree. It makes you laugh harder.
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ll=39.120738%2C-94.551172&spn=0.005286%2C0.009001&client=firefox-a&t=h&z=17&vpsrc=6&layer=c&cbll=39.120732%2C-94.551048&panoid=Zkmk9frDQbz8yyJgj4QRBw&cbp=12%2C205.23%2C%2C0%2C25.85

Now... turn around.  On the map that is... and.....

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ll=39.120738%2C-94.551172&spn=0.005286%2C0.009001&client=firefox-a&t=h&z=17&vpsrc=6&layer=c&cbll=39.120732%2C-94.551048&panoid=Zkmk9frDQbz8yyJgj4QRBw&cbp=12%2C205.23%2C%2C0%2C25.85

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

Ok, enough of my silliness.  But seriously, a shopping cart full!?  And a party on the dirt sidewalk?!  Really!? AWESOMESAUCE!

Ok, I kind of hope they are doing this tonight when I drive by to go to my concert so I can wave at them.  I have a feeling these people are about to become an internet sensation.  I know its already been forwarded around my workplace at KU...;)

Anyway, have a great day, and I hope you enjoyed the laugh. 

I hate you Bob!

Has anyone done the Biggest Loser Cardio workout?  Do you hate when he says OVER and OVER again "I love Bob!" Bullshit.  No one in their right mind after doing the workout he is making you do, LOVES Bob.  You are more likely dreaming of ways to kill kick Bob.  IN THE FACE.

 However, as someone who is giving this whole weight loss thing an honest to god try, I have to say, I think my ass loves Bob.  Oh, don't get me wrong, my ass HURTS LIKE HELL!!  Sorry for the cursing by the way....

However, after struggling for so long to lose weight, it feels good the next day to hurt.  I have muscles in my body right now that ache happily, because they haven't been used in forever.  YAY!

Weigh in day is Thursday, and as of this morning, I'm 0.5 pounds up from last week.  Not good.  I'm blaming the insanely yummy Taco Pizza we had this weekend from Pyramid Pizza.  OMG!  So delicious, and I'm allowed a cheat day right?  Humm...

Basically, I just have to keep up with my diet and exercise during the week and hopefully by Thursday, I'll have results.  We will see.

Yesterday, I decided to actually figure out how many calories I am averaging in a day.  I was pretty shocked surprised by the result.  Basically, I was undermining my "diet" by sneaking in foods that unless measured, really really packed in the calories.  Peanut Butter was the killer.

This is my food log page from http://caloriecount.about.com

This website was very helpful in figuring out what I was doing wrong/right.  I was pretty excited that it also grades your food selection, as the inner honor student that I am, worked hard to get A's!  Still not quite sure how to work the activity thing yet, but after I entered my workout into the system, it said I met my weight loss goal for the day. So, I guess Bob was enough.

Ok, thanks Bob.  I still do not love you, but we might be on a like level now.  :)  I take things slow...

Wake up Call on health

So, as if I didn't already need motivation to lose this weight, I got an awful phone call from my Dad a couple weeks ago about my 22 year old cousin.  He has always been athletic, but like me, gained some significant weight during college.  I would never say he was fat, but he was "husky" and "thickly built" as people would say.  I also would never say that I thought he was unhealthy, or a high risk person for heart issues or any other health issues for that matter.

However, my 22 year old cousin had a heart attack 2 weeks ago.  22!!!!!!!!!  Can you be serious!? Well, this got me to thinking.  If a 22 year old who is a bit overweight can have a heart attack, then what is there to say that I couldn't as well.  Someone my age never really even considers that heart problems are a possibility, and weight loss is, lets face it, more about the vanity than anything else more serious at this point.

Now, don't get me wrong, I want to be healthy.  I am not doing a "diet", I am learning to eat only whole foods, correct portions, and establishing a diet that more closely resembles that elementary school food pyramid.  But honestly, I just want to be able to wear clothes that are actually considered fashion.  I want to walk into places like Banana Republic, Guess, Limited, the Black and White store, without only looking at the shoes and jewelry.  I want to not stand out like a sore thumb in family photos.  I want to be confident in any picture, and not analyze my double chin, or if you can see a doughnut around my middle in that shirt.

So, yeah. My cousin's heart attack gave me another reason that I need to stick with this.  22 is far too young to have heart issues, and yes, this might be something that is more to do with his genetics than his weight.  However, his doctors told him what you would expect.  Eat a low calorie, low cholesterol diet.  Exercise.  Lose weight, and we will see you in a year to check on your progress.

That is not so encouraging, but for my cousin, it was.  Since being out of the hospital, he has lost 12 pounds.  I am so incredibly proud of him that I can hardly contain myself. This was not only Jesse's wake up call, but mine as well.  Thank you, Jesse, for being an outstanding inspiration for me, and our family.

Under Pressure...

Have you ever been working toward a goal and seemed to have everyone around you trying to keep you from achieving it? Well, that's how I felt today. Not only is weight loss already impossible in and of itself, but with the constant temptations, peer pressure, and just downright guilt trips, it seems like an impossible battle I'll never win.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have FANTASTIC supportive friends and family. Most of them know how hard its been for me to lose weight. However, its those pesky peers that aren't really friends, but you have to be polite to them and eat their food they are placing in front of your face or you get that "if you don't like the food I just gave me, you must not appreciate my effort" face that you can't turn down.... yeah. Them.

I managed to turn down amazing Mediterranean food for lunch with friends, but still got pulled into a meeting where they bought Pizza Hut for everyone, and of course the pizza was placed directly in front of me on the table. I tried to not eat any. But of course the leader who bought it for everyone is sitting directly across from me at the table. What am I supposed to do? Sit and say, no thanks, I'm on a diet. Thus insulting her on her food selection for everyone, and acting all snobbish. BLAH! So, I took the tiniest sliver of cheese pizza possible, inconspicuously dabbed as much grease off of it as possible, and ate it very slowly.

Honestly, I should have said I am allergic to Pizza Hut or something, but who believes that?! But seriously, I am in so much pain from that one piece of pizza. So much grease, and my tummy just doesn't agree. Anyway, that was a rant... but a good example of how impossible it can be to be a "healthy eater" in a work or social situation.

To make matters worse, I have this pesky habit of really really caring about other people's feelings. Babawa would say that I am a "Blue" personality, (for those of you who have done the SDI personality test) and that it is my nature to do so. However, I think it is a pretty good reason that I gain when I do, aka Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July....

How many of you eat because someone made it special for you? Or its a work party, and you should "join in the festivities". Or, in my case today, its a work lunch and all we have is this INSANELY greasy pizza and wings. Or, its a party, so you should have cake and ice cream, and while you are at it, try this special cookie/candy confection that I made just for this event that I had to attend cause I love this family member/boyfriend/sister/mom... etc. The list goes on and on.

Why has it become a culture of peer pressure to make someone eat? Not to sound like a little snot or something, but why is it rude to not eat something that is presented before you? Why is it not acceptable in society to say, no thanks, I can't eat that right now. I am trying to lose this weight. Oh.. and then if you do say something along those lines, you get this sympathetic remark about how they are trying too, and ohhhh how hard it is! GRRRRRR!! All I want to say is THEN WHY ARE YOU SHOVING THIS IN MY FACE?!

Ok. Temper Tantrum over. How have you handled the work food situations?

Getting sick can really throw a person off their game...

Sorry I haven't been on here since I first got this thing started.  I was so darn pumped up about this whole blogging thing, and whats the first thing I do?  Slack off!  Go figure.  Well, I do have an honest excuse.  I had Strep Throat.  Like, seriously, unless you work with children, how often do 30 year olds get strep!? I don't think I've had it since High School.

This stuff really kicks your ass.  For 5 solid days, I ran over 101 degree temp, couldn't really eat, move, or talk, let alone blog.  You would think typing on a laptop in bed would be the only thing I could do, but seriously, I couldn't make a coherent sentence to save my life.

See, I'm a freak, and my normal body temp runs 2 degrees below the average.  So, a 101 degree temp for normal people sucks, but isn't mind-erasing.  However, since I run 2 degrees below normal, I was basically running a 103 degree temp for 5 solid days.  Yeah.  It sucked.

Anyhow, I'm alive.  No more excuses.  On a good note, due to the strep throat and the lack of any movement of any kind and lack of any solid food for several days, I did drop 4 pounds! So, I'm at 9 lbs lost in 5 weeks.  Nothing extraordinary, but its still progress :)  Yay!!!  How's that for a silver lining?

Now, I'm starting to feel normal, except for random coughing fits that keep me up at night, and a sexy smokeresque voice that will not seem to go away.  However, I think its time to get back into the swing of things.  I no longer have an excuse to eat ice cream and cereal all day, and again have to return to my protein shakes, salad, and grilled chicken dinners.  Alas...

Yesterday, Joe told me that it was time to get back to it, so we went for a 2.2 mile walk.  Since it was only like 76 degrees outside, it didn't feel too horrible except for the giant mountain-like hill we have decided to climb as a part of this route.  Let me tell you, climbing a Lawrence "mountain" sucks, but climbing a Lawrence "mountain" while heavily breathing with a very sore throat sucks more.  However, I survived, and actually felt pretty good once I got home.  Maybe the extra work will burn this crap out of me.

To make me feel much better about stepping back up, Joe was down a pound this morning, which really gave me the motivation to get back on track with this diet thing.

So, I created a graph that I'll update to show the status of this weight loss process. I downloaded it from www.skinnyr.com.

Get your own graph at skinnyr

How is it so easy to gain, but IMPOSSIBLE to lose?!

So, I am the stand out person in my family.  I have blonde hair and blue eyes with fair skin, whereas everyone else in my immediate family has olive toned skin, brown hair and brown eyes.  In addition, they are also all skinny. Like never ever weighed more than 135 pounds in their lives, even while working at the local pizzaria and eating junk and sugary coffee's all day, skinny. Why do I stand out so much?  Well, technically, my dad is not my bio dad, and I managed to take after my bio dad, who is a broad shouldered, heavier set, blond haired, blue eyed, Oil Man. (Future explanation on this later)

So, I examined my biological family, and discovered, alas,  the majority of the family is rather overweight.  Like me. So, now that I have determined that I am pretty much destined to be overweight unless a serious intervention is done, I am starting this process.

So, how does a person, who is basically destined to be overweight her entire life, get healthy?  Well, I'm not sure. So, I am lucky enough to have a very supportive boyfriend in the same situation, who wants to take this journey with me.  Right now, its the very beginning.  This is my plan so far.

1. Biggest Loser Cardio workout 3 times per week
2. Neighborhood walks 2 times (minimum) per week
3. No sugar - no I take that back.  I get one packet of sugar in my coffee in the morning.  Black coffee is icky.
4. No diet soda, or any soda for that matter
5. Making foods that are whole foods, not processed, and meals that are 75% fruits and veggies and 25% lean meats. I get my carbs at lunch where I make a sandwich and eat it with celery or cherry tomatoes and hummus or cottage cheese.  Dinner ideas mostly have come from a Biggest Loser Cookbook, and random light recipes from the web.

That looks insane, but I have decided that its time for a change, and I want to see how this works.   Right now, I'm feeling extremely frustrated.  I started this journey 2 weeks ago at.... GULP... 249 pounds.  My all time high.  I'm down to 244.  5 of those pounds came off in the first week.  I haven't lost a pound this week.  So, who knows.  I'm guessing I shocked my body with this drastic change, and I'll start losing weight again next week. **crossing fingers**.

So, to make me an honest girl, I am going to post my before pic.  Please don't judge.  This takes all my courage to do so, but its time to hold myself accountable.  Thanks!

First Blog Post Ever

So, I am not sure why I decided to create this blog, or why I fell it is necessary to start writing down my life story.  However, as my friends have always told me, my life is like a soap opera, and they love being the characters in my show.  So, I guess this blog will cover a few topics.

1. My life in general and how the heck to cope with it.
2. My weight loss journey. Yes, I know everyone has this, but this is really for me, to see how I can grow through this process.
3. How on earth I manage to keep a positive attitude through it all.  I'm no self help guru by any means, but I've been through a lot in my 30 years, and somehow I have managed to be relatively normal.  

So, this may or may not be a soap opera.  I will unfold my history before you, like it or not, and hopefully you can get some inspiration or just a laugh from the daily musings of my past, present, and future.