Health Insurance: DENIED!

I know.  I am fat.  I realize this.  I have struggled, then given up and decided to just enjoy my life, then struggled again.  I now have 2 humongous motivators:  Vera Wang and Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Kansas.

Last week I received a shocker.  My individual health insurance request was denied. One of the factors: my weight/build. However, when I called, it turns out it was a combination of my migraines and my weight, but more so my migraines because I had put that I take birth control to keep them at bay.  I guess that means I need hormone therapy to the insurance company and they saw that as a huge risk.  Anyway, they said that its fine, and I just need to have my doctor tell me that they are 2 separate issues, and they will then cover me..

That said, being told that I can't get health insurance because I am a health risk was SHOCKING!  I feel that despite my level of obesity, I am a pretty healthy gal.  I tend to eat pretty good, well, when Laci, Emily, and Maile aren't bringing in scones, cupcakes, etc... ok, so maybe not.  But I do try to eat pretty well most of the time.  My issue?  LAZINESS!  I LOVE to come home, put on my pjs, and watch my shows on the DVR.  Yep, pure laziness.

So, my second reason to lose weight: Vera Wang.  I am madly in love with this dress at David's Bridal in the Vera Wang White line.  Its gorgeous, but only goes up to dress size 14.  Which also means with my gigantic boobies, i'll probably need a dress size 14, but i'll really be a 10.  So, time to stop the laziness.  I really don't have a choice this week, as its moving week!

I have been packing, cleaning and organizing every spare moment.  Joe packed the scale so I have no idea how much I weigh, which is actually kind of nice.  There isn't negative nancy hanging out on my bathroom floor to make me feel worse.  We move on Saturday, and I know I'm gonna be hot, sweaty, and out of shape.  But, we have helpers that day, and 2 movers. Yay!  I'll be losing some weight that day for sure! Anyway, the ice has been broken, and its time to lose this belly.  I want my vera wang, and my health insurance!!

I'm back, sorry for the lonnnng vacation!

So, I'm a bad blogger.  This is my trend, get very excited about a big endeavor, do very well for about 2 months, then go back to my lazy habits.  It's a bad habit that is 31 years in the making. 

Since last October when I last blogged, Joe and I found our dream jobs, our dream home, and we got engaged! Whew! It's been a whirlwind.  If you think that gives me an excuse to slack off my little blogging adventure, you are sorely mistaken, as all of these developments have happened since Feb 1!

However, now that I have to start shopping for a white dress, the idea of which terrifies me, its time to step it back up again.  (I say this as I am eating a bagel with cinnamon sugar cream cheese....) Yeah... Over the next week, however, I will be in packing Mach 5.  Every evening will entail me going through every nook and cranny of our house and carefully packing everything for the 2.5 hour drive to Independence, KS.  I am thinking this should count as cardio, however, I think I will work on throwing in some lunges into the mix to help with that. 

We move on May 5, which is a little over 2 weeks from now, and I have 5 boxes packed.  Not so good of me eh?  So, tonight I will make a salad with some grilled chicken on it, with strawberries, sunflower seeds, and feta cheese.  For lunch, a progresso soup and a yogurt.  My weight, I am actually not certain of, because Joe took the scale to Independence with him, but I'd say I'm up about 5 pounds since the last time I logged. Which makes me very sad.  But what do you expect when you serve fried chicken, homemade mac and cheese and mashed potatoes for your engagement party!? 

I have one last serious motivation that constantly will remind me this time, and thats my ring.  See, as a fat girl, I now have fat fingers.  My beautiful ring is now squeezing my finger a tiny bit so that I have a bit of ring cleavage.  It obviously gets better the more water I drink, so that is goal #1.  Water.  Lots and lots of water.  So, for this weeks goal with all the craziness, my goal is as follows:

1.  Drink 8, 8oz  glasses of water per day MINIMUM.
2. LUNGES - Lots and lots of lunges.  At least 40 per day. 
3. Push ups - 40 per day. 

I think that's a reasonable goal, right?  Oh, and no sugar.  Sorry bagel, but you will be my last.

The threat of cooler weather... and sleeves.

OH CRAP.  I just bought this shirt last Spring!  I love this shirt!  Thank god its got a bit of cotton stretch to it, or this shirt would join the rest of my favorite shirts/pants that no longer fit me in that dark space in the back of my closet.

See, I have a reason to be extremely frustrated right now with the slow weight loss.  Tomorrow is official weigh in day, and I haven't lost a pound in 2 weeks.  :(

What makes this reality even worse, is that I put this extra 29 pounds on SO QUICKLY!!! Like, I bought this shirt in March I think.  By July 1, I gained 29 pounds, and as of September 7, the sleeves are so tight that I had to flex a few times this morning to make it fit.

You know what I mean by flex?  Like, when those jeans create just a bit of muffin top, so you do those little squat things quickly and kind of puff out the tummy to make those jeans stretch a bit?  Well, I did that with the sleeves of my cotton shirt.  I flexed those biceps like I was Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

Thanks biceps!  It worked.  Kind of.

I understand when all the other blogs and weight loss websites say, "remember how long it took you to put it on, it will take just as long to work it off."  Bullshit I say.  I put this on over 3 months... and 3 months later.. only down 8 pounds.  Lame.

On a good note, my friend Amanda made me buy an insane work out bra, so that I can do some more serious cardio.  My boobies will not be bouncing all over the place now, which up to now, has been my excuse to not .. run, jump rope, jumping jacks, yeah.  You get the point.  So, time to step it up boobies.  You are not my excuse anymore.

So, the point of this whole thing is, due to the sudden change of weather in early September, mother nature gave me a warning.  Cooler weather is coming, and soon.  These giganto arms and boobies have to fit under button down shirts and sweaters.  Fitted sleeves are a must.  One can not wear tank tops and loose cotton shirts in the winter in Kansas.  So, I have about 1 month, to at a minimum, get these arms about 1 inch smaller around.

It's a good goal, and I feel confident I can achieve it.  So, to keep me honest....

Current arm (at the bicep) measurement: 15.5 inches.  Ouch.

2012, Aliens, and my very 1/2 full version of the world

So, in case no one else noticed, SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN.

The US is in complete financial melt down, our dollar is on the verge of being completely devalued to the level of Greece and the USSR, and it seems like there is a major natural disaster if not every day, at least once a week.  Is anyone else concerned?

Well, according to the specialists on Ancient Aliens, this show on the History Channel that Joe and I are currently addicted to, no need to worry, its just the aliens.  Well, ok, maybe not. That is my optimistic view of how things seem to be falling.

Its hard these days to think of a solution to all the problems that are going on.  My mom called me the other day, in fact, to tell me to go dig out those silver pieces that the "tooth fairy" gave me when I was a kid.  Those are not US currency, but actual hard silver troy ounces that if the US Dollar fails, could save our lives.  Yeah.  Thats what my mom just told me.  SHEESH!

But seriously, I am an eternal optimist, and I am starting to get honestly terrified of the next year.  Call me a doomsday person, but I'm starting to think those ornery Mayans were on to something. The ancient aliens folks say, its cause the aliens said they would come back and restart the world as we know it in 2012.

Now, are the politicians all watching Ancient Aliens and saying.. "You know what?  We don't have to fix this debt problem, cause the world is gonna get messed up in less than a year anyway.  Who cares?"  Thats my doomsday idiocracy theory anyway.  That sure does explain why all normal reactions to the financial meltdown have gone out the window.  Its like one giant stall game.  If we can push this problem off long enough, it just won't matter anymore.

Well, you crazy politicians!  Quit watching the crazy haired man on TV!

Quit stalling.  Cause I learned Reiki Tumo, and when the aliens come down and change our world, I'm gonna be good, and I'm gonna want to be able to buy a house. If you guys mess up this place before they get here too bad, I won't be able to get my money to buy that house.  So, get with it! ;) hehehe!

Ok, but seriously, it might have been a bad time to start a blog about being optimistic.  Crap.

 

Kissing Rock Stars

So, my friend Emily states that this blog is long time over due and needs to be exceedingly long now, to fill the rest of her work day.  So, here goes...

I am on the same path that I always end up following when on a diet/exercise plan.  I get too darn excited about my progress, and feel comfortable in my own skin.  That sounds great right?  Well, for me, its a bad thing.

See, I know I am at an unhealthy weight, and when I see pictures of me, I get extremely grossed out and upset.  But, when I get all gussied up, and look in the mirror, I see a rather good looking lady! See my problem yet?  I suddenly see the mirror, see someone, who despite the weight still looks pretty darn good.  So why kill myself on that damn elliptical machine, or that insane biggest loser video...

And.... the next thing I know, I'm up 2 pounds.  DAMN IT!  Stupid self confidence, you are screwing this up for me!  GRRR!!!

So, want to know what put me on this pathway to self confidence this time?  I got kissed by a Rock Star.  Sorry Joe!

He is one of my favorite blues guitarists and Joe and I slightly stalk love him. :)  Well, as in my previous post, I went to Knuckleheads in Kansas City in the East Bottoms to see Eric Sardinas.  My very best friends came to enjoy this fun event with me, and I even got to dance like old times with my bestie Alyson!  :)  I don't think my other bestie Amanda loved it nearly as much as me, so she is probably not as pumped to hear about this whole kissing thing.. but too bad Amanda! ;)

So, this is how this chain of crazy events happened.

Adam, Joe's brother, had to go back to Knuckleheads after the show, as he managed to take his mother's car keys with him when he left, and left his mother stranded at a bar.  Trust me, she was fine, and very happy to just chill with the owner and Eric. So, Adam, like a good son, drove through a MONSOON incredibly strong thunderstorm to give his mom her keys back.  Well, low and behold, Eric Sardinas and his band were also stranded due to the storm, so Adam got to hang with the band till the storm passed over.

Adam cooly and calmly fell all over himself telling him casually mentioned that we were very blown away by the show and wanted to follow him to Des Moines, Iowa to see the next show the following Saturday.  Well, the generous person that Eric is, said that if we made it, we would be on his personal VIP list.  Let me tell you, it did not take much arm twisting to convince Joe and I that this was a good idea.

So, on Saturday afternoon, we made the journey to Des Moines Iowa, to a insanely weird venue, that looked more like a business park bar and grill than a Blues Club.  After arriving, we were, as Eric promised, on the VIP list.  Now, this sounds impressive, I know.  However, being a VIP at a club where out of the 3 pool tables, only one works, and you have to tilt it on its end every few games to make that one table work, and there is no food, even though they have it listed on the door and the website.... I could go on and on about how disappointing this venue was.  Anyway, being Eric's VIP basically meant we didn't pay for our tickets. Oh well.

Eric made up for this venue by seriously putting on the best show ever.  10 times better than in KC.  At set break, he came right up to me, gave me like 5 hugs, and asked me how his voiced sounded, since he was a bit scratchy.  OMG... I felt like such a cool person at this point, in telling him the scratchy voice was sexy.  Sheesh....

I'm such a dork.  Anyway, he played a second set.  We were again, blown away.  At the end of the show, I wave to Eric, who is packing up his guitars, and say goodbye. At this point, he strides over to me, gives me a big kiss square on the lips, and says, I'll miss you till we get back to KC.  Ok, swooning.  Yes, Amanda, I know you are not swooning for me... and are probably making Yacking noises right now.  Ha!

But yeah, I have to say, that is one hell of a boost of self confidence.  I felt like the sexiest girl alive at that moment, 242 lbs or not.  So, this week, its been HARD to jump back into the healthy eating pattern.  Its been impossible to go to the gym.  But, I got kissed by a rockstar.  Maybe I should set my goal to lose weight for the next time Eric comes to KC.  If I'm 50 lbs lighter, then sheesh, who knows!  haha!  Sorry again Joe! ;)

Some fun stuff

Have you ever had one of those days where it is absolutely impossible to focus?  That is me today.  Could be that I had a weight gain this week of 1.5 pounds, which just downright pissed me off frustrated me.  However, sometimes, I think you just need some entertainment.

My entertainment tonight will be dancing my booty off at Knuckleheads Saloon in the East Bottoms of Kansas City.  They will have one of the very best blues guitarists in the world performing tonight, Eric Sardinas. I plan on having a fantastic time.  So, that was a bit off track.

The reason I mention my plans for this evening, is because my super funny thing of the day happened with my boyfriend Joe decided to do a google maps walk-through/drive through of the route to Knuckleheads.  See, if you don't know KC, the East Bottoms is mostly industrial trainyards.  However, there is a tiny residential neighborhood in the middle of it, and then in the middle of nowhere is Knuckleheads.

Well, you can see for yourself, but this is the neighborhood you have to drive through to reach our favorite blues bar in KC.

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ll=39.120738%2C-94.551172&spn=0.005286%2C0.009001&client=firefox-a&t=h&z=17&vpsrc=6&layer=c&cbll=39.120732%2C-94.551048&panoid=Zkmk9frDQbz8yyJgj4QRBw&cbp=12%2C205.23%2C%2C0%2C25.85

Make sure you also look to the right of the group on that tree. It makes you laugh harder.
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ll=39.120738%2C-94.551172&spn=0.005286%2C0.009001&client=firefox-a&t=h&z=17&vpsrc=6&layer=c&cbll=39.120732%2C-94.551048&panoid=Zkmk9frDQbz8yyJgj4QRBw&cbp=12%2C205.23%2C%2C0%2C25.85

Now... turn around.  On the map that is... and.....

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ll=39.120738%2C-94.551172&spn=0.005286%2C0.009001&client=firefox-a&t=h&z=17&vpsrc=6&layer=c&cbll=39.120732%2C-94.551048&panoid=Zkmk9frDQbz8yyJgj4QRBw&cbp=12%2C205.23%2C%2C0%2C25.85

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

Ok, enough of my silliness.  But seriously, a shopping cart full!?  And a party on the dirt sidewalk?!  Really!? AWESOMESAUCE!

Ok, I kind of hope they are doing this tonight when I drive by to go to my concert so I can wave at them.  I have a feeling these people are about to become an internet sensation.  I know its already been forwarded around my workplace at KU...;)

Anyway, have a great day, and I hope you enjoyed the laugh. 

I hate you Bob!

Has anyone done the Biggest Loser Cardio workout?  Do you hate when he says OVER and OVER again "I love Bob!" Bullshit.  No one in their right mind after doing the workout he is making you do, LOVES Bob.  You are more likely dreaming of ways to kill kick Bob.  IN THE FACE.

 However, as someone who is giving this whole weight loss thing an honest to god try, I have to say, I think my ass loves Bob.  Oh, don't get me wrong, my ass HURTS LIKE HELL!!  Sorry for the cursing by the way....

However, after struggling for so long to lose weight, it feels good the next day to hurt.  I have muscles in my body right now that ache happily, because they haven't been used in forever.  YAY!

Weigh in day is Thursday, and as of this morning, I'm 0.5 pounds up from last week.  Not good.  I'm blaming the insanely yummy Taco Pizza we had this weekend from Pyramid Pizza.  OMG!  So delicious, and I'm allowed a cheat day right?  Humm...

Basically, I just have to keep up with my diet and exercise during the week and hopefully by Thursday, I'll have results.  We will see.

Yesterday, I decided to actually figure out how many calories I am averaging in a day.  I was pretty shocked surprised by the result.  Basically, I was undermining my "diet" by sneaking in foods that unless measured, really really packed in the calories.  Peanut Butter was the killer.

This is my food log page from http://caloriecount.about.com

This website was very helpful in figuring out what I was doing wrong/right.  I was pretty excited that it also grades your food selection, as the inner honor student that I am, worked hard to get A's!  Still not quite sure how to work the activity thing yet, but after I entered my workout into the system, it said I met my weight loss goal for the day. So, I guess Bob was enough.

Ok, thanks Bob.  I still do not love you, but we might be on a like level now.  :)  I take things slow...